coochie gang
by Ginger-Chan
Summary: Mei makes a new chat system, and everything's as wacky as usual! (sequel to "in which Iida's plans don't work out well")
1. Welcome to Hell: Electric Boogaloo

**Main Chat**  
Yuga Aoyama- **The Diamond**  
Mina Ashido- **Pinky**  
Tsuyu Asui- **Soft**  
Tenya Iida- **Sharp**  
Ochako Uraraka- **Squishy**  
Mashirao Ojiro- **floof master**  
Denki Kaminari- **yeet**  
Eijirou Kirishima- **Pointy**  
Koji Kouda- **Snow White**  
Rikido Satou- **Cooking by the Book**  
Mezou Shouji- **im bad at names**  
Kyouka Jirou- **ears**  
Hanta Sero- **smile**  
Fumikage Tokoyami- **Dark Knight**  
Shouto Todoroki- **Shouto**  
Tooru Hagakure- **Violet**  
Katsuki Bakugou- **Big Bitch Energy**  
Izuku Midoriya- **Small Might**  
Momo Yaoyorozu- **Marina**  
Hitoshi Shinsou- **uwu**

* * *

 _5:56 pm_

 **Server: [Class 1-A]**

 **A wild [Marina] appeared.**

 **Ermagherd. [The Diamond] is here.**

 **[ears] just joined the server - glhf!**

 **Sharp:** Welcome all!

 **Marina:** Hello!

 **Marina:** Oh god I almost typed "hewwo" instead...

 **ears:** babe omg your handle I love it

 **Marina:** Aoyama wasn't sure what to make as his handle, I thought it'd be cute if we matched!

 **Marina:** Plus he _does_ shine rather bright!

 **The Diamond:** uwu you are too kind, Yaomomo!

 **[Small Might] is here, as the prophecy foretold.**

 **Small Might:** hi!

 **ears:** hye

 **ears:** hey

 **Marina:** hye

 **The Diamond:** hye

 **ears:** _fucking listen_

 **[Pinky] just joined. Hide your bananas.**

 **A wild [yeet] appeared.**

 **Ermagherd. [smile] is here.**

 **[Pointy] just joined the server - glhf!**

 **[Big Bitch Energy] just joined. Can I get a heal?**

 **Pinky:** pfffft

 **Big Bitch Energy:** shut it, raccoon eyes

 **Big [Soft] showed up!**

 **[Squishy] joined your party.**

 **smile:** bro how many matches do we have?

 **Sharp:** Yes.

 **smile:** afijewoijoie

 **Welcome, [uwu]. We were expecting you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

 **Never gonna give [i'm bad at names] up. Never gonna let [i'm bad at names] down.**

 **yeet:** NEVER GONNA MAKE YOU CRY

 **uwu:** NEVER GONNA SAY GOODBYE

 **Big Bitch Energy:** NEVER GONNA TELL A LIE AND HURT YOU

 **i'm bad at names:** wow, I can't believe that I don't have boyfriends anymore

 **yeet:** alojfioewjfi MEZOU BBY NO

 **Big Bitch Energy:** THE ONE FUCKING TIME I GO ALONG WITH THIS MEME BULLSHIT

 **Pointy:** and there he goes

 **uwu:** katsuki just tried to fuckin tackle him

 **uwu:** hes still standing, but now hes holding katsu

 **uwu:** god i wish that were me

 **Ready player [Violet].**

 **Welcome, [floof master]. Stay awhile and listen.**

 **floof master:** and there he goes in Shouji's many arms. dang.

 **floof master:** Tooru, come study with me? my study partner's... busy right now

 **Violet:** sure bb!

 **Dark Knight:** Kinky.

 **floof master:** kinky indeed, you fucking sluts.

 **Hey! Listen! [Shouto] has joined!**

 **Shouto:** Wow I can't believe Ojiro's slutshaming us.

 **Sharp:** The audacity.

 **Soft:** An outrage.

 **Batman:** fucking rude.

 **floof master:** oiafioiefjio

 **Small Might:** yall omfg

 **Squishy:** guys I'm fucking screaming

 **Brace yourselves. [Cooking by the Book] just joined the server.**

 **Cooking by the Book:** yallre fucking wild

 **uwu:** UwU

 **Cooking by the Book:** Stop

* * *

hi, welcome to chili's! I hope you enjoy this fresh start! I also decided to go with a more discord-esque to this fic, I hope yall don't mind!


	2. I'm so sorry

**Bakuhoes**  
Mina Ashido- **aliens are great fuck off**  
Denki Kaminari- **raiachu**  
Eijirou Kirishima- **a really buff triangle**  
Hanta Sero- **stickyman**  
Katsuki Bakugou- **charizard**  
Hitoshi Shinsou- **espurr**

 **1-A**  
Yuga Aoyama- **The Diamond**  
Mina Ashido- **Pinky**  
Tsuyu Asui- **Soft**  
Tenya Iida- **Sharp**  
Ochako Uraraka- **Squishy**  
Mashirao Ojiro- **floof master**  
Denki Kaminari- **yeet**  
Eijirou Kirishima- **Pointy**  
Koji Kouda- **Snow White**  
Rikido Satou- **Cooking by the Book**  
Mezou Shouji- **im bad at names**  
Kyouka Jirou- **ears**  
Hanta Sero- **smile**  
Fumikage Tokoyami- **Dark Knight**  
Shouto Todoroki- **Shouto**  
Tooru Hagakure- **Violet**  
Katsuki Bakugou- **Big Bitch Energy**  
Izuku Midoriya- **Small Might**  
Momo Yaoyorozu- **Marina**  
Hitoshi Shinsou- **uwu**

* * *

 _3:42 pm_

 **Server: [bakuhoe central].**

 **Members: [aliens are great fuck off], [raichu], and 4 others.**

 **stickyman:** you're throwing out ur old pants. you haven't worn them in years. they're ratty and riddled with holes where moths have dug through over time. they're far too small now, and their redemption as anything salvageable was long since lost when you discarded them to the back of your closet. faintly, you feel the outline of something in the old pocket. it's right at the base of the seam, wedged between the fabric for years. you go into your pocket to retrieve it, smiling faintly as it withdraws. something kept in your pocket for rainy days, for when you need it most. you slip it into your own new pocket, the small part of you feeling whole now that it is once again with you... Spare Coochie.

 **aliens are great fuck off:** afeioJOJAIOEW0JOFJWIOEFW SERO JESUS CHRIST

 **a really buff triangle:** BRO IM CRYIN

 **espurr:** SERO YOU MOTHERFUCKER

 **charizard:** what the fuck

 **charizard:** did you just make me read

 **charizard:** with my own two fuckign eyes

 **stickyman:** what, spare coochie?

 **charizard:** yeah, what the fuck?

 **raichu:** we all need some spare coochie in our lives

 **a really buff triangle:** can't relate

 **espurr:** wait shut the fuck up for a sec yall

 **espurr:** katsu, do you

 **espurr:** do you not know what spare coochie is?

 **charizard:** no, what the fuck?

 **raichu:**

 **espurr:**

 **a really buff triangle:**

 **stickyman:**

 **aliens are great fuck off:**

 **aliens are great fuck off:** spare coochie?

 **stickyman:** spare coochie, please sir!

 **espurr:** sir? sir, can you spare some coochie? **sir?**

 **charizard:** **youre all fucking dead to me.**

 **raichu:** coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang coochie gang

 **espurr:** ITS OK BABE I DIDNT NEED TO BREATHE ANTYWAY

 **a really buff triangle:** _**COOCHIE GANG**_

 **charizard:** JESUS FUCKING CHRIST DENKI **ENOUGH**

 **stickyman:** OH MY CARDIAC ARREST

 **aliens are great fuck off:** OFJEWIOAJFOI YALL IM WHEEZING

 **raichu:** I LOVE YOU BABE I SWEAR

 **charizard:** FUCK OFF JANET

 **espurr:** WAIT YALL SHUT THE FUCK UP I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING

 **aliens are great fuck off:** _coochie_

 **espurr:** MINA FUCK OFF IM SERIOUS

 **charizard:** what is it then?

 **espurr:**

 **espurr:** is mezou our coochie gang?

 **charizard:** BYE

 **stickyman:** OF ALL THE CURSED ASS SHIT YOU GOTTA PULL ON YOUR BIG BF IT'S _COOCHIE GANG_

 **raichu:** BBY HOLY SHIT YOU JUST GAVE ME AN IDEA

 **charizard:** DENKI NO

 **raichu:** _**DENKI**_ _ **YES**_

* * *

 _4:02 pm_

 **Server: [Class 1-A].**

 **Members: [The Diamond], [Pinky], and 18 others.**

 **uwu:** IVE MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE

 **uwu:** **i'm bad at names** IM SO SORRY BABE YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU

 **i'm bad at names:** what?

 **[yeet] changed [i'm bad at names]'s name to [coochie gang].**

 **coochie gang:** hitoshi what's going on?

 **coochie gang:**

 **coochie gang:** what the fuck

 **smile:** sorry, man, i tried to stop him,,,

 **smile:** denki's just,,, fucking fast

 **Pinky:** WHEEZE

 **floof master:** thanks, I hate it!

 **Squishy:** YALL OH MY GOD

 **ears:** OJFIAJFEIEW _DENKI WHAT IN THE FUCK_

 **Shouto: ...** _ **What the fuck have you done**_

 **Pointy:** oh god who made kami a mod

 **Marina:** Denki!

 **Small Might:** KAMINARI WHY

 **Small Might:** WHY DID YOU ABUSE YOUR POWER LIKE THIS

 **Small Might:** I TRUSTED YOU WITH MY LIFE

 **yeet:** then die

 **Soft:** Just so you know, Denki, Tenya's on his way to throttle you.

 **yeet:** guess _ill_ die

 **coochie gang:** before you die can i have an explanation?

 **Big Bitch Energy:** you dont want it.

 **coochie gang:** ... ok?

 **Dark Knight:** ... Please tell me we can keep this.

 **coochie gang:** **no.**

 **Dark Knight:** Well,what if I just...

 **[Dark Knight] renamed the server [coochie gang].**

 **coochie gang:** _**traitors**_

 **Sharp:** This is fine. :)

 **uwu:** guys, _run_

 **Dark Knight:** Bold to assume Iida can find me.

 **yeet:** ALREADY AM BABE

 **yeet:** ILU **coochie gang** I SWEAR

 **coochie gang:** _fucker._

* * *

... I'm so fucking sorry for what I just threw at you


	3. shh I'm not late for Bakugou's birthday

**1-A**  
Yuga Aoyama- **The Diamond**  
Mina Ashido- **Pinky**  
Tsuyu Asui- **Soft**  
Tenya Iida- **Sharp**  
Ochako Uraraka- **Squishy**  
Mashirao Ojiro- **floof master**  
Denki Kaminari- **yeet**  
Eijirou Kirishima- **Pointy**  
Koji Kouda- **Snow White**  
Rikido Satou- **Cooking by the Book**  
Mezou Shouji- **coochie gang**  
Kyouka Jirou- **ears**  
Hanta Sero- **smile**  
Fumikage Tokoyami- **Dark Knight**  
Shouto Todoroki- **Shouto**  
Tooru Hagakure- **Violet**  
Katsuki Bakugou- **Big Bitch Energy**  
Izuku Midoriya- **Small Might**  
Momo Yaoyorozu- **Marina**  
Hitoshi Shinsou- **uwu**

 **Heroes**  
All Might- **Large Dad**  
Eraserhead- **why**  
Midnight- **kinkshaming is my kink**  
Present Mic- **Radio Ga Ga**  
Cementoss- **Onix**  
Nezu- **Top Bitch**  
Vlad King- **Schlorp**  
Snipe- **McCree**  
Thirteen- **space**  
Ectoplasm- **Skeletor**  
Power Loader- **Robots**  
Hound Dog- **Incineroar**  
Recovery Girl- **Mercy**  
Tensei Iida- **sonic's leg hair**  
Lunch Rush- **Gordon Ramsay**

* * *

 _6:45 am_

 **The DIamond:** can I get uuhhhhhhhhhhh some sleep around here for once?

 **smile:** who in the fresh fuck is playing smoke weed at full blast at the hour of our lord and savior all might?

 **Pointy:** yall of my god it's Kami, Shinsou, and Shouji

 **Pointy:** they're standing outside Bakubro's window

 **Marina:** Hello?

 **Small Might:** you know, I should've expected this kind of bullshit for Kacchan's birthday

 **Small Might:** but I was really hoping I wouldn't be woken up for it

 **Pinky:** oH GOD THAT'S RIGHT IT'S 4/20

 **smile:** OH SHIT WHADDUP

 **smile:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY  Big Bitch Energy

 **Soft:** Happy birthday, Katsuki, kero.

 **Snow White:** o(^◇^)o

 **ears:** Big Bitch Energy happy birthday dank weed bitch

 **[Squishy] changed [Big Bitch Energy]'s name to [Birthday Bitch Energy].**

 **Pointy:** First of all, happy birthday, Bakugou!

 **Pointy:** Second of all,  uwu coochie gang yeet please stop blasting that music, you might get in trouble!

 **yeet:** our job is done, lads. lets go hug our boyfriend

 **uwu:** he might kill us tho

 **coochie gang:** worth it.

 **Shouto:** Gay.

 **coochie gang:** you bet

 **Birthday Bitch Energy:** ears Squishy bitch

 **Squishy:** uwu

 **Birthday Bitch Energy:** Shouto biggest bitch

 **Shouto:** That's fair.

* * *

 _11:32 pm_

 **Server: [then perish].**

 **Members: [Large Dad], [Why], and 13 others.**

 **Gordon Ramsay:** so uh

 **Gordon Ramsay:** why Radio Ga Ga I guess that Kaminari, Shinsou, and Shouji have started doing a kazoo cover of Smoke Weed Every Day

 **Mercy:** ah...

 **Mercy:** That's not the name of the song, though, is it?

 **McCree:** nah, but nobody can remember it

 **Skeletor:** I love how RG just knows this

 **why:** god dammit i knew these kids were gonna pull some bullshit today

 **kinkshaming is my kink:** wasn't expecting it from shouji, but then again that kids an enigma sometimes. love their enthusiasm towards a holiday tho!

 **why:** stop

 **Large Dad:** I've been told that today is young Bakugou's birthday!

 **why:** there it is

 **Radio Ga Ga:** That explains it!

 **Schlorp:** Eraser what the fuck is wrong with your kids

 **why:** i could ask the same thing about both of ours

 **Schlorp:** bitch

 **Gordon Ramsay:** should we,,, do something about it? Bakugou kinda looks like he might murder

 **why:** itll probably be fine

 **why:** if something happens i can just punish all of them during training today

 **Top Bitch:** A wonderful idea!

 **sonic's leg hair:** evil,,,

 **Top Bitch:** Says the one whose name is "sonic's leg hair."

 **sonic's leg hair:** u rite

* * *

soooooo I died a little, but I'm trying to get back into the swing of things!  
here's something for Bakugou's birthday, which totally isn't late!


End file.
